A Mr. Arlo "Stinky" Asshorn from Butte Montana asks...
Dear Mr. Knowitall...As much as I love Thanksgiving dinner, about an hour after eating, a slow odiferous smog slowly envelopes the whole household, that nearly makes it impossible to eat my pumpkin pie. Is there anything that can be done to quelch this dilemma?
Dear Stinky...Outside of eliminating the turkey, baked beans, or green bean casserole, not much can stop the flatulento cantata! BUT...You can make the joyous feast much more bearable, by purchasing either of a couple new products on the market now. Both the Subtle Butt, and the Flat-D filter are available on-line. Prices range from 21.95 to 25.95. They employ the use of activated charcoal filters, and are sized perfectly for easy handling and use.
If you are too cheap to cough up the money, a flick of the Bic closely applied to the rear nether regions, still does the trick. Just make sure you are wearing cotton or wool. Polyester is NOT flame retardent!!
Good Question...
Mr. Knowitall is tired this evening, I bid you Good Night!
Peace...!!!
I knew it. You're a "pull my finger" kinda guy, aren't you? You better get some of those, I'll bet a Bic wouldn't quite do the trick. jeNN
ReplyDeleteWell, there's an appetite killer. Bet that guy doesn't get invited out for dinner often.:)
ReplyDeleteGreat one. Thank god you reminded me about Polyester. I'll be sure to not wear my Leisure Suit when I try that trick.
ReplyDeleteMercy.
ReplyDeleteThat was a damn smelly question. Hmmm. I've gotta rethink you flick my bic I flick yours.
ReplyDeleteWow! Who knew?
ReplyDeleteGMAN!!!! How are you? I'm doing good. There is also a product called Beano meaning "there will Be No gas." I have heard this product works well but have never tried it personally.
ReplyDeleteHope you are doing well. Get some rest!
Sometimes having a dog to blame is good enough. Save that $21.95 year after year.
ReplyDeleteheee heee heeee. you're a hoot! OR serve dinner outside. oh, move to the tropics first though...
ReplyDeleteYou made me think...Taryton cigarettes were charcoal filtered...the particularly flatulent household could buy a back and use them as an exhaust filter. I suggest that they be inserted dry though...can't have cigarettes flying all over the room after dinner now could we?
ReplyDeleteI'm cracking up at The Walking Man!
ReplyDeletehahaha. the perfect stocking stuffer for that "special" person...
ReplyDeleteWhat will they think of next.
ReplyDeleteI suppose using a Bic would eliminate the need to have a sac and crack wax too! LOL
ReplyDeleteThose sound like handy products. The opposite of a whoopie cushion.
ReplyDeleteHave a Happy Thanksgiving. Turkey Butt
G you are too darn funny. You Rock and have a great Thanksgiving.
ReplyDeleteyou are funny!! i hope you had a happy tootin' Tuesday!!
ReplyDeletesmiles,
Lit match.. used for years before Glade air fresheners...Happy T-day!
ReplyDeleteOMG are those for real? The perfect gift for gassy Uncle Peter.
ReplyDeleteYou could hide them under the seat covers, how nifty!
do they come in different sizes? I mean no two butts are alike...and what about one to fit the couch?? You know that is where most of us end up on...:D You amaze me MI man!
ReplyDeletei beg to differ on the textiles remark. no cotton garments may be marketted as sleepwear cue to the flammability of cotton.
ReplyDeleteSubtle Butt is $10 and works! It saved my butt on Thanksgiving and I am giving it as gifts for my smelly friends this Christmas.
ReplyDelete