Monday, January 12, 2009

TMI Tuesday.....;


Hi Everybody.....
Do y'all remember Granny Clampett from the Beverly Hillbillies?
Of course you do! But do you remember that she was also "Dr. Granny"?
Ya know, sometimes there is a lot to be said for Country Doctorin.
Not only did she have her own 'Special Medicine', she had a very unique interpretation of certain medical terms. For instance.......
.
ARTERY: The study of paintings.
BACTERIA: The rear of a cafeteria.
BARIUM: What you do with dead folks.
BENIGN: What you be after eight.
BOWEL: A letter like A E I O U.
CATSCAN: Searchin for the cat.
CAUTERIZE: Made eye contact with her.
CAESARIAN SECTION: A neighborhood in Rome.
COLIC: A sheep dog.
COMA: A punctuation mark.
D&C: Where Washington is.
DILATE: To live longer than your kids.
ENEMA: Not a friend.
FESTER: Quicker than someone else.
FIBULA: A small lie.
GENITAL: Not a Jew.
HANGNAIL: A coat hook.
IMPOTENT: Distinguished.
MORBID: A higher offer than mine.
NITRATES: Cheaper than day rates.
NODE: Was aware of.
PAP SMEAR: A fatherhood test.
PELVIS: Second cousin to Elvis.
RECOVERY ROOM: A place to do upholstery.
RECTUM: (All together now) Damn near killed him!
SECRETION: Hiding something.
SEIZURE: Roman General that lived in the Caesarian Section.
TERMINAL ILLNESS: Getting sick at the train station.
TUMOR: More than one.
URINE: Opposite to...Your Out!
VARICOSE: Near by.
VEIN: Uppity
VARICOSE VEINS: Near by AND uppity!
.
Take your shoes off, stay awhile, Y'all come back now hear...
.
Peace...!!!
at

17 comments:

  1. SerenaJanuary 12, 2009 at 10:05:00 PM EST

    LOL! Ironically enough, I'd bet Granny was a pretty good doctor, though. They do say that laughter is the best medicine, and all she'd have to do is open her mouth and start defining "medical jargon.":-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. javajazzJanuary 12, 2009 at 10:47:00 PM EST

    haha! elvis and pelvis.
    man, that was some list...!
    an interesting piece of trivia
    that i just remembered
    when i saw Jed Clampett's face
    is that Buddy Ebsen
    was originally the first
    guy cast as the Tin Woodsman
    in the Wizard of Oz but
    i think he had some allergy
    to that poisonous silver paint
    they used (that probably had
    some freakin' lead in it
    for Pete's sake!)
    and so they had to cast
    the other dude
    whose name i now
    totally forget cuz
    i get like that...

    ReplyDelete
  3. barmanJanuary 12, 2009 at 11:23:00 PM EST

    Weee doogies!

    You would not be talkin' about Granny rheumatoid medicine would you? Doctors have to do what they can to stay healthy so they can see their patients.

    Well excuse me while I go take a quick dip in the cement pond.

    Very funny by the way.

    ReplyDelete
  4. EvalinnJanuary 13, 2009 at 3:45:00 AM EST

    Oh, great vocabulary for me to pick up on! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. ShadowJanuary 13, 2009 at 5:07:00 AM EST

    you're a hoot!

    ReplyDelete
  6. buffalodickJanuary 13, 2009 at 7:17:00 AM EST

    "Hooked on Phonetics" gone horribly wrong!

    ReplyDelete
  7. MonaJanuary 13, 2009 at 7:51:00 AM EST

    You and I are genitals?

    Does that make us impotent?

    ReplyDelete
  8. limeJanuary 13, 2009 at 8:24:00 AM EST

    i wonder if swimmin' in the cement pond would be good for what ails ya.

    and LOL @mona!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Middle DitchJanuary 13, 2009 at 10:11:00 AM EST

    Can I borrow those???? They're great sayings.

    ReplyDelete
  10. SJanuary 13, 2009 at 10:49:00 AM EST

    OMG That was hilarious!

    SO was your comment at my blog today! :P

    And, you met RUPERT? WOW that is so cool. How lucky was he to have met you?

    ;)

    ReplyDelete
  11. SJanuary 13, 2009 at 10:50:00 AM EST

    We loves ta get a swim in th ceement pawnd beforin we has out vittles what granny has cooked up fer us.

    ReplyDelete
  12. EveningJanuary 13, 2009 at 11:27:00 AM EST

    OH, I love the Beverly Hillbillies.
    Remember the cement pond, wouldn't laying beside that right now feel good?
    Granny was a treasure, and I agree with Serena, laughter is the best medicine. Granny was a great healer.
    Have a nice day G-man.
    xo

    ReplyDelete
  13. AkelamaluJanuary 13, 2009 at 2:09:00 PM EST

    I used to love watching the Clampets!

    The medical terms were too funny G!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Lulda CasadagaJanuary 14, 2009 at 7:07:00 PM EST

    Funny...I'll have to use these in a quiz for my massage students for A&P. :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. tsduffJanuary 18, 2009 at 5:04:00 PM EST

    Did those guys come in color? I thought they were only black and white :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. JihadGeneJanuary 21, 2009 at 2:54:00 PM EST

    You gotta love a doctor with a still!

    ReplyDelete
  17. jodiJanuary 21, 2009 at 9:50:00 PM EST

    Hilarious. That Granny was one tough old broad. Your blog is cool.

    ReplyDelete