Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Thursday Portrait.....






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Unlike some of the other jobs that I've had in my eons on this planet, once in a while you meet people that just break the mold. I sold an Impala to a very nice couple, Jim and Kim. They had been treated very shabbily at several other dealerships, but for some reason we just hit it off famously! Usually it's the sales consultant's duty to send a Thank You...And I ALWAYS do! But about two weeks after the sale, I came into work and this envelope with a Home-Made Card and some CD's were inside. The music was very diverse and interesting, and it included a burned DVD. The movie was a very odd choice, but it certainly made me think of something else thats of interest to me...Can you guess what?
See Ya Friday....
Peace...!!!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Retro Wednesday....


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Hi Everybody...
This is going to be a very cheesy Retro-Wednesday!
There are lots of great car incentives out there, and business has been Rockin with the end of the month upon us, and I have been way too busy to think about being creative. So here's the deal!
About a year ago the beautiful, talented, and very smart Doctor Mona, sent me a gift! Now I knew that she resided in Agra India, the "home" of The Taj Mahal, and that it was very old, but I didn't think that it was so small!!!
But it was the thought that counted, so I Love It!!!
She's a sweet thing, visit her at The Two Bits, or click on Mona on my sidebar.
Peace...!!!

Monday, June 28, 2010

TMI Tuesday.....


















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A Ms. Ginger Vitus from Colgate New Hampshire asks...
"Dear Mr. Knowitall, after numerous trips to emergency for yacking up hair balls, a specialist diagnosed me with Hairy Tongue . Is this a disease or a syndrome? And do you know of any other medical oddities that are little known"?
Dear Ginger....Indeed I do!!
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* THE FOREIGN ACCENT SYNDROME: After a severe head injury or stroke, a person begins speaking their native language with a foreign accent. It can also happen to American Skanks that think that sounding British makes them seem classy.
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* ALICE IN WONDERLAND SYNDROME: Vision is distorted, making objects seem much smaller than they really are. A house may seem to be the size of a shoebox, etc.
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*KABUKI MAKE-UP SYNDROME: This birth defect causes facial features to distort, resembling the overpronounced and elongated made up faces of Japanese Kabuki actors.
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*PRUNE-BELLY SYNDROME: An absence of abdominal muscles, gives the stomach a wrinkled, puckered look. It also cause a severe pot belly that stretches out grotesquely. ( The latter is also called The Budweiser Syndrome).
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* JUMPING FRENCHMAN: A condition first discovered in the 19th Century among Canadian lumberjacks. Patients have EXTREME reactions to sudden noises or surprises. They flail their arms, Jump up in the air, cry, scream, and hit people. Fortunately there hasn't been a case of any Frenchman hitting anybody in 150 years!
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* WANDERING SPLEEN: The muscles that hold the spleen in place are missing or underdeveloped causing the spleen to move about freely in the lower abdomen and pelvic region.
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*MAPLE SYRUP URINE DISEASE: An inherited metabolic disease that makes the urine and sweat smell like maple syrup. Mrs. Butterworth had this condition... When she lived in a Log Cabin!!
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So Ginger....I hope this doesn't make you feel so all alone with your 'condition'.
Good question....Thanks.
All this conditioning is making Mr. Knowitall grow weary...
I bid you Adieu.....

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Coffee Talk...











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Hi Everybody...
This weeks edition of Coffee Talk, is temporarily changed to...
Frozen Margarita Talk!!
Maybe that and making Motivational Posters are NOT sympatico eh?
Whatever!
Pick a topic...Talk amongst yourselves...And,
Have A Kick Ass Week!!!




Thursday, June 24, 2010

Friday Flash 55.....

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For Lorraine...
A pregnant unmarried woman in 1949 didn't have very many options.
*A shot-gun wedding.
*A back-alley coat hanger Abortion Clinic.
*Go "out of town" for awhile and give the child up for adoption.
*Or you can happily raise him with lots of Love and Pride.
I'm glad she chose the latter!

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My Mom's birthday was June 21. She's been gone since 1977...Forever young!
Miss You Lorrie...
If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man...
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment...Then BOOK!!
So from the most gracious host from coast to coast...
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Thursday Portrait







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Hi Everybody...
This week Kroger had raspberries 5 for 5!!
That gave me an idea!!!!
I had some Raspberry Margarita mix from Big Lots..$2.50
I had this DELICIOUS tequila That the sales guy at the ABC highly recomended.
A few seconds in the blender...Voila!!
Very refreshing on a HOT Summer Night.
It does remind me of something else, but I need another drink to remember what...
See Ya Tommorrow...Peace!!!



Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Retro Wednesday.....




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Remember last weeks Awwwwww post?
Well...Here's another Rocking Horse style with springs!
Uncle Buff reminded me with a comment that there was one like this still around the house.
I'd say around 1955 again...
Save a Rocking Horse...Ride a Cowboy!!
Sorry....Too many Honky Tonks.....
Peace...!!!

Monday, June 21, 2010

TMI Tuesday....





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A Mr. Charles Martel from Ferme La Bouche Louisiana asks...
"Dear Mr. Knowitall, I just bought me some Khaki's from The Walmart in Slidell, and I really like them. But there seems to be different shades of Khaki, could you help clear this up?"
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Dear Chuck...Of course I can!!
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The name for the color Khaki comes from British India. It is a Hindustani/Urdu word meaning 'dust-covered'. It was first used by the British Army in 1848. During the Abyssinian campaign of Africa in the 1860's is when it was officially introduced as standard military color. It was strangely withdrawn as standard color in 1864, but the British troops on the Pakistani frontier, loved it so much that they dyed their uniforms with tea leaves. Over the years various armies of the World have adopted Khaki in different shades for their military garb, and it is used to this day.
Then along came the French!......
When you see olive drab, or pale green...That is what the French refer to as Khaki!!
And there is a very interesting story behind this little twist, gather around kiddies, and I'll tell you the tale of King Louis XIV...
Louis XIV became a King at age 4, and he reigned for over 72 years...Longer than any European Monarch. Since he was so young at the time of assuming power, he was used to having most things done for him. He was waited on hand and foot for EVERYTHING. This of course included his "Water Closet" duties. When he had 'To Go', a chamber pot was brought to him wherever he happened to be at the time. All of his staff gathered around waiting anxiously for the Grand Event to occur, and when it did they all applauded the King for his 'Movement'!! His odiferous little prize was refered to as Ka-Ka. Kings of course have a much different diet than most of us common folk, and apparantly it had a green tint to it. Over the years Ka-Ka of course became bastardized to Khaki, and therein lies the mystery of the same word describing several shades of color!!
Now to the best of my knowledge, the preceding little anecdote is completely true....But maybe you had better not use that definition if you find yourself on Jeopardy.
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Good question Charles, thanks.
But Mr. Knowitall grows weary, and he has one final "duty" to attend to...
Peace...!!!

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Coffee Talk....







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Hi Everybody...
Welcome to Coffee Talk.
Since I discovered that I could make my own Motivational Posters, I've been a bit obsessed of late. The first two are of my kids Mandy and Reese, the last 3 are just something that I threw together for a chuckle.
Don't worry....This too will soon pass.
hehehehehe...
Happy Father's Day to all of you Lucky Dad's out there, Reese is taking me to the Movies to see Jonah Hex.
Have a Kick Ass Week Peeps......

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Friday Flash 55.....


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Tony hated this part of the yearly physical.
Lying on his belly in the examination room, he heard the soothing voice from behind; "Relax, this won't hurt a bit".
ARRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!!
Before passing out from pain he thought,"What's he........'?
(Shaking the patient)
"Tony, wake up...I'm Doc Andrews, are you ready for your prostate exam?"

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If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man.
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment.....Then BOOK!!!!
So from the most gracious host from coast to coast...
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Thursday Portrait.....



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Oooh Oooh......
My favorite place in the whole world Tim Horton's, published some coupon's this week in the paper! As you can see, I already ripped some out and used them. So far this week I got a free coffee, a free breakfast wrap, a free donut, a 99 cent iced mocha, and a 99 cent Large iced coffee! I'm in Coupon Heaven needless to say. I've been saving these other coupons for some odd reason that I just can't put my finger on, Hmmmmmm........
Anyway...See Ya Tomorrow!
Peace...!!!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Retro Wednesday.....


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How about this Rocking Horse Circa 1955?
Marvelous condition, and it still rocks just fine.
My daughter LOVED this horse.
Reese would have flipped it for sure...hehehehe
See Ya tomorrow...
Peace...!!!

Monday, June 14, 2010

TMI Tuesday.....





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A Mr. August Busch from St. Louis Missouri asks...
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"Dear Mr. Knowitall, I came home from work last night hot, tired, thirsty, all I wanted was an ice cold beer. You know what? My wife was dumping my last brewski over her head!! I nearly passed out from screaming. I asked her WTF she was doing, and she said that she was adding 'Bounce' to her hair... Fucking Bounce? I almost bounced her down the steps! Mr. Knowitall, can this be true? And if it is, are there even other uses for beer other than swilling? Can you help me please?"
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Dear Auggie, Of course I can!!
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*Beer is slightly acidic, making it useful for cleaning copper pots. Dump a warm beer into the pot, let it sit for a few minutes, then wipe clean.

*Beer kills pesky garden slugs! Fill some wide-mouthed jars a third of the way full with beer. Bury them about 15-20 feet from your garden with the rims level with the soil. Slugs LOVE
beer! They will smell it, try to drink it, then fall into the jars and drown.

*This one is of particular interest to me...Fill a foot bath with Ice-Cold Bubbly beer! It will sooth your tired feet.

*Spray beer on the brown patches in your lawn. The grass will absorb the fermented sugars which stimulates growth!

*Flat beer cleans wooden furniture. Dump some on a soft cloth, clean the furniture, then wipe dry. You will be very impressed.

*You can also pour some beer on a clean cloth, and wipe your gold jewelry. It will make it even shinier.

*If you have any coffee stains on your carpet, pour it directly on the stain, then rub it into the fibers until it comes clean.

*If drinking too much beer has got you lost, it can also show you the way to go home. Put some beer in a bowl until it goes flat, then magnetize a needle by rubbing it vigorously against some silk, lay it gently on it's side in the bowl of flat beer, and it will point North/South.
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Good question Auggie...Thanks.
But all this talk of beer has made Mr. Knowitall grow weary.
I bid you adieu....

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Coffee Talk....






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Hi Everybody...
(It's amazing how a shot of Kalua improves the taste of the World's Best Coffee)
Remember a few months back when I reminisced about the Land-O-Lakes Princess? Well I have a new "Destined to be a Classic" silly activity project thats almost a guaranteed laugh OR eye roll!
All you need is a Sharpie, and a One Dollar bill, A strategically placed B and an R will do the rest. I'm in a dilemma as to which is sillier. Can You help me out here?
C'Mon....Admit it....You LOVED it didn't you?
Have a Kick Ass Week.....

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Friday Flash 55.....



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Lyin.........Cryin.
Emerald, Black or Blue.
Brown, Gray, Hazel.
Pink and Blood-Shot too!
Loving, Piercing, Glowing.
Googly, Dark, and Needy.
Shady, Sultry, Bed-Room.
Evil, Cross, and Beady.
They always Blink
They sometimes Wink
One can even make them Roll
They see Beyond
They see Right-Through
They are Windows To The Soul!

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If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55
Please come tell The G-Man.
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment.....Then BOOK!!!
So from the most Starry-Eyed host from coast to coast...
Have a Kick Ass Week-End!!!