Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Retro Wednesday...




Do any of you remember these?
You clamp the clip to grounded metal, and slide the tip of the radio up and down to pick up local AM broadcasts. Over the years I replaced the small ear phone with a bigger ear piece.
Yes, I've had this since 1960, and of course it still works...
Peace...!!!

Monday, March 30, 2009

Thanks a Lot......




I don't usually bitch about much...
But last week I worked 6 days.
On Sunday, my only day off mind you, I woke up to decent weather, the Daffodils and Crocus' had started to pop out....
And by 6:00 O'clock??? Grrrrrrrr...
Mother Nature...Cruella DeVille has NOTHING on you!!!
Please lighten up....
Peace...!!!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

A Taste of India....







Hi everybody...
Yesterday after work, we travelled to Ann Arbor where my daughter lives, and we visited a very cool Indian Market. 5#'s of Jasmine rice cost $3.59! I also bought some Nan, various spices, and some Tandori Chicken spice mix. Even though I don't have a clay Tandori oven, I baked it then broiled it. It was very aromatic and flavorful!
To make this recipe', I took the spice packet and mixed it with plain yogurt. I then coated the chicken in the mixture and let it set in the fridge for 3 hours. I then baked it for 45 minutes at 375 covered. I then uncovered it and broiled it for about 12 minutes to make it look grilled. I made some curried veggies sauteed in coconut milk, and some cumino seed/morel mushroom Jasmine rice, and warmed up the Nan. Man oh Man....One of my very best meals ever!!
I need a nap.
Have a Great Week Everyone...
Peace...!!!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Friday Flash 55...



(Rosebud, Fruit-Dish, Velvet-Glove, Sheath..
French Pear, Buggle-Boe, Porridge, Cut-Sleave)
Alas...He Mused.
Why was he having such a dilemma naming his comedic masterpiece?
Damnable women and their spell on men!!
Women with their 'Pie'.
With their 'Dark and Vicious Place'.
With their 'Hell'.
And drama?...It's ALWAYS...Much Ado About Nothing!!!

.

If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55, please come tell The G-Man. I will visit, read, enjoy, comment, Then BOOK!!!
So from the most gracious host from coast to coast...
Have a Great Week-End!!
Peace...!!!

FOOTNOTE..Parenthesized words. 'Marked' words. And the word Nothing. Are Elizabethan slang terms for Cooter.
(Ha..That Footnote was so Mojoesque)

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Thursday Portrait.....



Hi everybody.....
It ain't me Babe.
It's my little buddy Woody!! (Check out the step)
And, I'm startin to get a feel for my Friday 55. Are YOU?
Peace...!!!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Retro-Wednesday....



I haven't shown any radios for a while.
This one is from the early 60's.
Theres something about the sound of an old radio.
It still works just fine.
Of course it does......
Peace...!!!

Monday, March 23, 2009

Flame On.....



I try to see the best in everything.
Like, my glass is always half/full sort of crap.
To prove my point, check this list out...

THE TOP GOOD THINGS ABOUT HELL!!!

* None of that annoying 'check-in' procedure, like with St. Peter.
* Due to recent health code changes, vats of boiling brimstone, now use low-fat canola oil.
* Your..."Do you smell something burning" shtick, slays them year after year!
* Plenty of legal help available for that "wrongful death" lawsuit.
* Satan's confused attempts to torture masochists, can be highly entertaining.
* No need to pack the parka!
* Sure it's hot...But it's a 'dry heat'.
* FREE prostate checks and PAP smears administered daily.
* Prizes awarded for the best prank phone calls to GOD.
* Everywhere you look, theres a smoking section.
* Your little "Blue Flame" trick, now produces spectacular results!!
* 52 Smmmmmmokin channels of Jim Carrey.
* Everybody gets a length of pipe, and a daily whack at Nancy Kerrigans knee!
* Fortune to be made on "Welcome OJ" T-Shirts...
* Free Micro-Soft software for EVERYBODY!!!(As per agreement made in the early 80's)

There you have it...
Peace...!!!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Health Tips From Mr. Knowitall.....






Hi everybody....
I hope you are having a Great Week-End.
And Mr. Knowitall is about to make it better!!
See those 'evil' pictures above?
Read On!!!

COFFEE/CAFFEINE...

Not only is coffee tasty, it's a mild stimulent with many medical uses! Caffeine contains a muscle relaxent that is beneficial to people that suffer from bronchial problems and asthma. It also releases certain fatty acids into the blood stream that become a useful source of fuel for muscles.
The only serious side effect, is that too much caffeine can cause some weight loss.
And people with fecal incontinence should avoid caffeine since it loosens the anal and spincter muscles..hehehehe

CANNABIS...

Cannabis is said to be useful for over 250 conditions!
For this very reason it is legal on perscription in most western countries.
It is said to help alleviate arthritis, asthma, depression, glaucoma, and pain.
It is also beleived to ease the symtoms of constipation!
It helps ease nausea during chemotherapy in cancer patients.
It can restore your appetite. (If it needs restoring)
Cannibis has been used medicinally for over 3000 years!!

CHOCOLATE...

Cocoa and dark chocolate improves the overall health of the circulatory system. It stimulates the brain, prevents coughs, prevents diarrhea, and may even be an anti-cancer agent! A recent BBC study indicates that melting chocolate in your mouth increases brain activity and heart rate more intensly than passionate kissing. With the effect lasting 4 times longer after the activity ends.
Eating small amounts of chocolate on a regular basis, helps reduce cholesterol and reduces the chances of having a heart attack. (I'll have a Hershey Bar please)

BEER...

A moderate consumption of beer has been associated with lowering the risk of heart disease, stroke, and mental disease. Brewers Yeast (Used in the production of beer, and carried through to the finished product)contains magnesium, sellenium, potasium, phosphorus, biotin,and many B vitimins. For this reason beer is sometimes called "Liquid Bread"!! A 2005 Japanese study has shown that low-alcohol beer has strong anti-cancer properties. And contrary to popular belief, a 'beer belly' or 'beer gut', is NOT caused by beer, it's caused by over-eating and lack of exercise.

So if you wake up to brewing coffee, smoke a joint, get the munchies and eat a chocolate bar....FEAR NOT!!!!
You are taking excellent care of your body, and improving your over all health.
I think I'll go have a MGD 64 now.....
Peace...!!!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Friday Flash 55.....



(Riiiiiinnnngggg.....)

She recognized the number.

"Hi Sweetie, God I miss you so much.
When you coming to see me?
I'm so hot and achy for you I just can't stand it!
Yes...I'm touching it right now.
OK I'll wait, but please hurry."

(Riiiiiinnnggg.....)

10 Minutes Later.

"Hi Sweetie, God I miss you so much".....

.


If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55, please come tell The G-Man.
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment...Then BOOK!!!
So from the most gracious host from coast to coast.
Have a Great Week-End!!!
Peace...!!!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Thursday Portrait.....



Yep....I can see the writing on the wall.
It's almost time for the "haircut" talk...

But I don't have time for that happy horseshit now.
I'm thinking about my Friday Flash 55...Are You?

Peace...!!!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Retro Wednesday.....





I just couldn't leave that last lame entry as a real post...Sorry!

In 1862, a Detroit pharmacist named John Vernor went off to war. When he returned home, he had left some oaken barrels filled with vanilla, ginger, and some 'spices' sitting in his basement. When he tasted the 'aged' brew he exclaimed..."Deliciously Different". Thus America's FIRST true soft drink was born. Now some folks may claim that Hires Root Beer was the first. But variations of sasparilla had been around for several years, and there is not that much difference.
Vernors Ginger Ale is a very robust and highly carbonated drink. When you get it near your mouth, it's not uncommon to start sneezing. It tastes NOTHING like Schweppes or Canada Dry Ginger Ale. Maybe thats why after 1987, it no longer was referred to as a Ginger Ale, but a Ginger Soda. Thats when Schweppes bought them out!
But native Detroiters and Michiganders will always refer to it as Vernor's Ginger Ale. It used to be only distributed within 100 miles or so of Michigan, but now you can find it in many places. If you ever get a chance to try some, you'll be hooked.

Anyway....That leads me to this weeks Retro Wednesday offering. A vintage 1950's glass with the original logo on it. I keep it in the fancy china closet!!!!
Of course I do....Peace...!!!

Green Day.......




Hi everybody....
I stopped at the pub tonight on the way home from work to enjoy a little St. Patty's Day fun. I decided to come home early when the beer looked green and blurry. And I started to see snakes...YIKES!!!
( I found out that this was a 4 month old baby Python..40 bucks at the pet store)
Peace...!!!

Monday, March 16, 2009

Mabel..........



Today at work, someone whistled at at a friend of theirs on the show room floor. The whistle sounded like an old beer commercial from my past, and I blurted out..."Mabel, Black Label"! He looked at me like I was Mathusela. I Said.."You've never heard that before?" He said NO!!!
Of course I sang the jingle back to him...VERBATIM!!

...."It's a premium brew at a popular price.
Enjoy the best, take our advice.
Mabel...Black Label. Carling Black Label Beer!"

I enjoyed Carling because very few other people ever ordered it in a bar. And consequently, it was always the coldest beer in the cooler because it stayed in the cooler longer!
Peace...!!!

...Oh wait, one more thing!!!
When I was pledging My fraternity back in 1968. One of the many many nonsensical things that we had to memorize, was The Carling Philosophy...
Please let me share this with you now. (It was always printed on a can or bottle)

TIME, THE MAKER OF BEER, IS ALSO THE GREAT DESTROYER!
STASHED AWAY IN WARE-HOUSES...SHIPPED FROM CITY TO CITY.
WHY EVEN A GREAT BEER LIKE OURS, WOULD SLOWLY, SURELY, LOSE THE TASTE THAT MAKES IT GREAT!
THATS WHY WE BREW BLACK LABEL IN EIGHT DIFFERENT CITIES ACROSS THE NATION.
WE WANT OUR BEER TO BE THE BEST BEER THAT YOU CAN BUY!!!

hehehehe.....

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Golden Heaven.....





Hi Everybody...
You take 2 Corned Beef Briskets, (on sale this week for 1.99 a pound)
Bake covered in the oven at 350 for two hours.
Then baste with honey and mustard, and set back to 250 for one hour.
Repeat after an hour, but then take cover off for that last hour.
Let rest for 15 minutes....
Then slice up your melt-in-the-mouth meaty delight!!
It sure beats boiled corned beef....
Peace...!!!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Possom-Hollow Redux.......



"In..The Afterlife
You could be headed for the serious strife.
Now you make the scene all day.
But tomorrow there'll be Hell to pay"!!!

.
After 2 days of Wonderful weather, The rains came and washed out all of my 'outdoor' fun...Grrrrrrrr
I'm heading home now, but NOT before I share my 1st You-Tube download with you all!
Peace...!!!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Friday Flash 55.....

Almost...............DAMN!!!
You can feel it coming.
Breaths, becoming faster and labored.
Eyes close , muscles tighten, sometimes it leaves you dizzy!
HARD TO BREATHE!!!...HARD TO BREATH!!!
Then, after what seems like an eternity....
You open one eye, then the other.
Finally...You catch your breath!!
And as always..... the tension ebbs, and calmness returns.

.
If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55, please come tell the G-Man.
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment...Then Book!!!
So from the most gracious host from coast to coast...
Have a Great Week-End

Thursday Portrait....


Hi everybody.....
I'm here all safe and sound!
As I was passing thru West Virginie, I saw this sign and had to take a pic.
I haven't figured out yet which WV town I love the best...
Beaver, Cheat Neck, Possom Hollow, Big Ugly Creek, Booger Hole, or Oprah Winfrey's Home-Town of Hoo Hoo!!
Start thinking about your 55 kiddies
Peace....!!!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Retro Wednesday.......



I don't know if these really qualify for Retro Wednesday. But I've been collecting these for about 20 years...Crazy Eh?

BTW, hehehehe, I'm Officially on Vacation....See Ya! (tomorrow)

Monday, March 9, 2009

Translation Tuesday.....


How zit goan eh?......Take off Hoser!!

As many of you know, the G-Man is partial to the word Hoser. I loved The McKenzie Brothers from the old SCTV skits. I think in part because I love Canada. It was a Right of Spring for me and several of my buddies to drive to Northern Ontario each year to go Walleye fishing. I attended Grad School at the University of Windsor. I have probably been to Toronto more than a dozen times. And the "strip clubs" in Canada are known for complete nudity. Back in the day, we used to drive the 60 miles eagerly to attend.."The Windsor Ballet" (Titty Bars). And I love hockey!!!
One of my co-workers is from Canada, and each day we discuss 'Canadianism's'.
So, sit back and enjoy , we will start with the easy ones.

The Rosetta Stone of Canadian/American

EH?..Every sentence uttered in Canada ends with Eh? It's like Huh, or Don't Cha Know.
LOONY..A Canadian One Dollar coin has a Loon on one side.
TOONIE..A Canadian Two Dollar coin.
TWO-FER...(24)..A case of beer
SUITCASE...The same thing as a Two-Fer.
HOMO MILK...Homogonized Milk
BUNNY HUG...Hooded Sweat Shirt
CHESTERFIELD...Couch
POGEY..Welfare or Unemployment
BUTTER TARTS...Little bits of Heaven..Miniature Pecan Pies. Only made with raisons!!
DEKEY..Favorable or cool.
FBI...Fuckin Big Indian.
FISH POLICE/CRITTER COP...Game Warden
HAD THE BISCUIT..Dead or Broken.
HYDRO...Electricity
DEAD BIRD IN THE BOX...KFC.
JOGGERS...Sweat Pants
MOLSON MUSCLE...A beer belly
PICKERAL...Walleye
RINK RAT...Zamboni Drivers..(Ice Rink Mainenance)
RUNNERS...Tennis Shoes or Sneakers
POVERTY PACK...A six-pack of beer
SEEIN' THE GOVERNOR...Drinking Rum
SERVIETTE...A napkin
SKULLCRAMP...A head ache
TUQUE..Knitted winter hat
VICO...Chocolate Milk
ZED...The letter Z
PUCK...A hockey players Girlfriend
THE QUEENS HOTEL...Jail

...Hmmmm. I think I'll resume this lesson another time. There certainly are enough translations for many many posts. Do you know how a person from Toronto spells his country's name?
C eh? N eh? D eh?.....

Peace...!!!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Wet Monday.......


Hi everybody....
I hope you all had a Great Week-End!
Thursday it was Sunny and 67 .....Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, it was rainy and 39!
I've had enough of this crap, on Wednesday I'm headed back down to my brother's home state...er Commonwealth of Virginia.
I was told that it was 83 there yesterday.
Golf is in the air once again!!!
Replace ALL divots please.....
Peace...!!!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Friday Flash 55....






When did my humor stop being funny?
When did our love, become based upon money?
When did we start screaming at the drop of a hat?
When did my cute butt become suddenly fat?
When did I become evil, because of my snoring?
When did my advances become needy and boring?
Not that it matters........
.
If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55, please come tell the G-Man.
I will visit, read, enjoy, comment...Then BOOK!!
So from the most gracious host from coast to coast...
Have a Great Week-End...
Peace...!!!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Thursday Portrait....


Hi everybody....
I seem to have this look of disbelief as I am filling up the tank of a Silverado Crew Cab. It's the first truck I've sold in a month. Thank goodness that Cobalts and Impala's are selling well!!!
To give you readers out there a glimpse of how brutal this business has become, my boss told me that out of 5380 Chevrolet sales people in the state of Michigan in 2008, I finished 248!!!
Not bad eh?....WRONG!!!
I know how much money I made in 2008, you mean to tell me that 5142 sorry bastards made less than me?...YIKES!!!

Start thinking about your 55's kiddies...

Peace...!!!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Retro-Wednesday....



..."ONE THAT WON'T MAKE ME SICK.
ONE THAT WON'T MAKE ME CRASH MY CAR,
OR MAKE ME FEEL 3 FEET THICK"!

Is a 25 year old 'Concert-T' retro enough?
In 1984 Huey was asked to do the soundtrack for the movie "Ghost-Busters". He declined, but Ray Parker Jr. did pen the score. And in 1985, Huey promptly sued Ray because the melody to "Ghost-Busters" sounded way too much like "I Want a New Drug"!!!
It obviously was plagiarized because the case was settled out of court....

..."ONE THAT WON'T HURT MY HEAD.
ONE THAT WON'T MAKE MY MOUTH TOO DRY,
OR MAKE MY EYES TOO RED"!

Peace...!!!

Monday, March 2, 2009

Rated P........



I was in the grungy bathroom at my favorite bar Sunday night, and after I was done recycling a MGD 64, I noticed someone had written on the condom dispenser with a Sharpie...
This Gum Tastes Funny!
Whoa Nelly...Did that ever give me an idea for a post. Of course all of the infantile bathroom musings came to mind. You know..."Here I sit broken-hearted, tried to shit, but only farted.
"I came here to Shit and Stink, but all I do is Sit and Think"! Yada Yada Yada...
Well, guess what? Who is more infantile than the G-Man?
So without further adieu, I present........

BATHROOM WALL AND STALL SCRAWLS.....

*Here I sit in stinky vapor, because some bastard stole the paper.
*You are lucky you had your chance, I tried to fart and shit my pants.
*Please don't throw cigarette butts in our urinal, we don't piss in your ashtray.
*(written high above a urinal) If you can piss above this line. The Flint Fire Dept. wants YOU!
*(on the inside of a toilet door) Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire performance.
*(an arrow drawn pointing at the stool) 1.49..All You Can Eat!
* My Mother Made Me a Whore! (to which someone added) If I buy her some yarn, will she make me one too?
* The hands that clean these bathrooms, also make your food. Please aim properly!
* Anyone can piss on the floor..Be a hero and shit on the ceiling!
*(under a sign that says EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS someone scribbled) I waited and waited, so finally I washed them myself!!
*(and My favorite) Fart...If you Love Jesus!!

Of course there are many more... Please feel free to share any of Your favorites!

Peace...!!!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Is It Grillin and Ridin Time Yet?......






Hi everybody....
I hope you all had a Great Week-End.
I'm in the market for a new apron, I've narrowed it down to these 5 choices...
In your opinion, which one do you think fits me the best??
Be honest now....
Peace...!!!